| When you switch off the lights at night, it's nice to know your twitterstone is still 100% turned on. |
| design |
TTTTT-ALERT
On Twitter, twitterstone has 5 t 's !!!
(no, ittt's nottt the tttequila).
On Twitter, twitterstone has 5 t 's !!!
(no, ittt's nottt the tttequila).
JOB-ALERT
If you enjoy smashing twocks and wearing
sun-glasses simultaneously or have failed a
degree course in this skill, contact us. Our
production-site is in the Rockies duh. Night
shift work in daylight is also available in our
P2P nodal manufacturing cloud.
If you enjoy smashing twocks and wearing
sun-glasses simultaneously or have failed a
degree course in this skill, contact us. Our
production-site is in the Rockies duh. Night
shift work in daylight is also available in our
P2P nodal manufacturing cloud.
PROD-ALERT
This photo shows
the new stone...
"Heart Memory".
When you want to
have someone
remember a special
event, pop them
one of these. Plus it
won "Worst
product name of
2009". In daylight it
looks disgusting but
we can color it for
you, like pink or
green or whatever,
in tune with your
event theme.
This photo shows
the new stone...
"Heart Memory".
When you want to
have someone
remember a special
event, pop them
one of these. Plus it
won "Worst
product name of
2009". In daylight it
looks disgusting but
we can color it for
you, like pink or
green or whatever,
in tune with your
event theme.
| ___________________________________ |
| NEWS, GASP, COLUMN |
PROD-ALERT
This photo shows
the new "0 Pair"
stones. For some
reason
twitterstones go
nuts in pairs.
Normally they're not
quite as bright as
these two.
This photo shows
the new "0 Pair"
stones. For some
reason
twitterstones go
nuts in pairs.
Normally they're not
quite as bright as
these two.
| ___________________________________ |
| ___________________________________ |
| ___________________________________ |
| ___________________________________ |
| ___________________________________ |
+41-22-900-0000 Email twitterstone |
| the world's only paleolithic twitter client |
"Heart Memory"
Great for selling at
fund-raiser events.
Customizable. Use
a black cloth tube
that people can
stick their head into,
to see stones in
daytime. Black
tubes are fantastic
crowd pullers.
Great for selling at
fund-raiser events.
Customizable. Use
a black cloth tube
that people can
stick their head into,
to see stones in
daytime. Black
tubes are fantastic
crowd pullers.
| Note: The apeshit feature under the header (top left) only works in firefox. |
Twitterstone does not grunt at night. It is made from 100% natural earth crystals.
It is not radioactive. However it will go apeshithyperactive after over-exposure to
sunlight. May curdle milk. 100% sustainable, recyclable, green, blue, etc.
To recharge, simply plug into daylight or into the nearest guykawasaki.
May slightly lose brightness after 50 years (if this happens, please fill out the
form in the 'contact' page) or if bought by Microsoft or Google or CNN or Fiat.
To re-activate, vaporize with umair.
Dogs bark at Twitterstone the first few days, in which case just place it under a
cushion (the dog). Other animals such as cats, arduinos, bats, instructables,
makers, twitcasters, tifis, wireds, buglabs, and fastcompany nerds know
Twitterstone as family.
Most computers will continue to function in the presence of Twitterstone, but
there may be some jealousy from those equipped with illuminated fruit-lids.
Twitterstone is platform-agnostic and, unlike most agnostics, works with
Twindows. You can also order our Tttwubuntu zebra skin conversion kit.
Best of all, Twitterstone's socialmedia-agnostic zuckerkruncher plug-in means it
works across Facebook, FriendFeed, Tumblr, Posterous, Twitter, Ning,
Seesmeeque or whatever. Twitterstone is scoble-resistant, rack-friendly,
Y-combinable, memeproof and gives you semantically meur for less.
Observe normal safety precautions as you would with any normal stone. Do not
inhale, nibble, throw or use as tool. Avoid fingering obsessively - accumulated
finger-yuk will gradually dull the brightness. Unlike certain Twitter features this
problem cannot be randomly discontinued. Although Twitterstone is hot it does
not need a Logitech genital cooler, but may act as a web-cam ambient light
enhancer if you're wearing your black leather batman outfit in the dark. You may
also end up in the wrong U-Tube. For your safety, all Twitterstones are sprayed
with Google-repellent before shipping and do not appear in Google search.
Twitterstones are not soothing, and should not be placed on people's backs in
spas (unless it's iJustine). They do not have sun-tanning properties. They will
however predict the future with reasonable accuracy.
If you live in a tent or cardboard box, Twitterstone may be all the illumination you
require. If you're an investment banker, Twitterstone is a friendly night-time
reminder that in a different time-zone, someone is shorting your stock.
Twitterstone is an equal opportunity illuminator. To recharge it, both black light
and white light are equally effective. Black light is what lets everyone see your
white underpants if you're wearing them over your jeans at a disco. White light is
that incredibly bright stuff that hits you when you come out of the disco in the
morning.
Twitterstone's auto-encryption feature means you can say anything to your
Twitterstone and it won't get you f...d at work.
Customized Twitterstones can be made for minorities, societies, clubs and... er...
rock groups.
Even unsolisited, if you can think of anything we've missed, let us know.
Yes you can call it Bing if you really want to.
Twitterstones are supplied in leather bags called _______ or in bird's nests.
It is not radioactive. However it will go apeshithyperactive after over-exposure to
sunlight. May curdle milk. 100% sustainable, recyclable, green, blue, etc.
To recharge, simply plug into daylight or into the nearest guykawasaki.
May slightly lose brightness after 50 years (if this happens, please fill out the
form in the 'contact' page) or if bought by Microsoft or Google or CNN or Fiat.
To re-activate, vaporize with umair.
Dogs bark at Twitterstone the first few days, in which case just place it under a
cushion (the dog). Other animals such as cats, arduinos, bats, instructables,
makers, twitcasters, tifis, wireds, buglabs, and fastcompany nerds know
Twitterstone as family.
Most computers will continue to function in the presence of Twitterstone, but
there may be some jealousy from those equipped with illuminated fruit-lids.
Twitterstone is platform-agnostic and, unlike most agnostics, works with
Twindows. You can also order our Tttwubuntu zebra skin conversion kit.
Best of all, Twitterstone's socialmedia-agnostic zuckerkruncher plug-in means it
works across Facebook, FriendFeed, Tumblr, Posterous, Twitter, Ning,
Seesmeeque or whatever. Twitterstone is scoble-resistant, rack-friendly,
Y-combinable, memeproof and gives you semantically meur for less.
Observe normal safety precautions as you would with any normal stone. Do not
inhale, nibble, throw or use as tool. Avoid fingering obsessively - accumulated
finger-yuk will gradually dull the brightness. Unlike certain Twitter features this
problem cannot be randomly discontinued. Although Twitterstone is hot it does
not need a Logitech genital cooler, but may act as a web-cam ambient light
enhancer if you're wearing your black leather batman outfit in the dark. You may
also end up in the wrong U-Tube. For your safety, all Twitterstones are sprayed
with Google-repellent before shipping and do not appear in Google search.
Twitterstones are not soothing, and should not be placed on people's backs in
spas (unless it's iJustine). They do not have sun-tanning properties. They will
however predict the future with reasonable accuracy.
If you live in a tent or cardboard box, Twitterstone may be all the illumination you
require. If you're an investment banker, Twitterstone is a friendly night-time
reminder that in a different time-zone, someone is shorting your stock.
Twitterstone is an equal opportunity illuminator. To recharge it, both black light
and white light are equally effective. Black light is what lets everyone see your
white underpants if you're wearing them over your jeans at a disco. White light is
that incredibly bright stuff that hits you when you come out of the disco in the
morning.
Twitterstone's auto-encryption feature means you can say anything to your
Twitterstone and it won't get you f...d at work.
Customized Twitterstones can be made for minorities, societies, clubs and... er...
rock groups.
Even unsolisited, if you can think of anything we've missed, let us know.
Yes you can call it Bing if you really want to.
Twitterstones are supplied in leather bags called _______ or in bird's nests.
| scary |
